When my self-hatred turned to self-love

As I shared with you in the last blog post, gearing myself up to film the nü Icon movie brought up lots of dormant and ready to be healed body image stuff for me.

After spending the last year as a bi-coastal nomad, I haven’t been the best at maintaining my workout and eating habits and as a result I have gained 17 pounds.

Despite adding those extra pounds and turning 40 this year, I have learned to love myself even more deeply as a result turning my own personal empowerment education up a notch this year.

However, the thought of being filmed for the world to see when I’m at my “heaviest” weight forced me to come face to face with my deepest desire which is, to love my body and feel sexy no matter what weight or age I am.

You see, the thing about desires, as I have come to know (and teach), is that when you live in to them, and find the most pleasurable way to enjoy the conjuring of them, they are guaranteed to manifest.

Note the part I said about enjoying the waiting period.

The tricky part is being able to recognize and receive ones desires when they show up. And this, my friend, is where I had the biggest opportunity for growth and transformation in my nü Icon experience.

You see, about two months before I got the invitation to participate, I had made a commitment to go one layer deeper within The School of Womanly Arts by signing up for their highest level program.

When I was presented that program, I watched the dozens or more graduates of that program strut their beauty (all shapes, sizes and ages) across the stage, unapologetically, in all sorts of revealing and sexy clothing.

Those ladies were the best representation of women owning their power and expressing body confidence that I had EVER seen. I knew I had to have that! These women were living proof of my desire and what seemed to be the pathway to it.

Fast forward to the day I got the invite from Laura Hollick to be one of her nü Icons representing the color yellow. Not only were the stars perfectly aligned for this opportunity but it also felt like a perfect way to be in pleasure and joy around my body desire.

When I showed up in Canada to do the filming, I had no choice but to own and embody all of me, extra pounds and all. It’s what I had to work with and the body I was there to love.

Through the process Laura took us on, I became even clearer about my Iconic Essence and because I was chosen to represent the color yellow a lot of energy of my former business, The RAY magazine started to come forward.

Not so ironically, I had started The RAY magazine because of my personal struggles with body image and though the magazine has since evolved into my current Fun, Fabulous & Feminine offerings which are still designed to help women own and express their full radiance. It is all is still very much my main mission.

One of our past RAY taglines was, “A Source To Empower Your Inner Light” and now here I was, coming full circle in many ways to live and fully embody the message of The RAY in a whole new light while truly shining my inner light for the world to see in all it’s yellow radiance.

Here’s where the real magic came through.

During the photo shoot, I went for it. And I mean I really went for it.

I dove head first into expressing the full radiance of my iconic essence by choosing to bear it all in a very fun and artistic way. It was a blast and I felt very aligned and great about what we had created for my image.

And then I got the photo.

Interestingly enough when one desires and asks for something as big and bold as full appreciation and complete acceptance of my body, it doesn’t just happen. It’s a choice. And the moment I got the photo I was faced with that choice.

But because of the skin I was still shedding and the old “script” I was still running about myself, my first reaction to the photo was devastation.

I took one look at my photo and wanted to crawl in a hole from shame and embarrassment. How could THAT possibly be my iconic essence???

I was mortified. Clearly this was not the reaction I desired from being a part of this experience.

What I did next changed everything. I breathed through it, did my deep internal work and got on the phone immediately with Laura to discuss my feelings. I knew that I was committed to seeing this whole thing differently and deeply desired to turn this around. And, I knew that regardless of my perceived perception, there was more to be seen and understood.

Laura, in her infinite and shamanistic wisdom had a sense that perhaps my reaction was simply the perfect workings of the “medicine” of this process (that’s the whole point of the nü Icon vision quest).

After speaking with her and having her expertly guide me to reclaim my desire to love and accept my body and be able to walk across the “proverbial” stage of life in full ecstatic expression, no matter what size I was, I looked at my photo again and burst into tears.

There it was!  I had arrived.nu-icon-movie-IMG_1352-683x1024

My nü Icon photo was the fullest and most divine expression of my radiance I had ever seen! And here was my desire, fully manifested in all it’s glorious form for me (and the world) to see.

Now was the real moment for me to make my choice… to see, own and express that which I had within me all along.

It was time to receive that which I had consciously conjured and already possessed.

And in the words of Glinda the Good Witch, “You always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself.”

So,  if you follow, follow, follow the yellow brick road that I have paved for you, I am curious, what do YOU most desire that might already reside within you? And what will it take for you to bring it forward?

Share your answers to these questions below.

Shine On-

How I learned to hate my body

Ever since I hit puberty, I remember feeling uncomfortable with my body. Part of this was due to what I learned from my mother around her body and weight struggles over the years and part came from just what happens to a little girl during those formative years.

The real kicker for me was when my mother took me aside in private to tell me not to worry about my boobs because one day, she would help me get a boob job.  I was probably 13 or 14 at the time.

What was a well-meaning gesture from my mother at the time, because she grew up hating the size of her breasts, turned out to be nearly a life long challenge for me.

From then on I became obsessed with my body and boobs. I began to feel incredibly insignificant as a woman because of, dare I say, how I looked and the size of my breasts and thighs.

This is something that I have written about and shared extensively over the years and have since shifted significantly for myself. (if you’re new to this list and curious about those stories, you can read more here)

However, like any life long challenge, with every new level comes a new devil and over the summer, I was invited to be a part of Laura Hollick’s nü Icon movie that just launched on Wednesday.

The nü Icon movie is a vision quest experience shared with thousands of women around the world and I knew that by being a part of this incredible visual experience that I would gain some wide range exposure for myself and my work.

I was thrilled with the opportunity, but it also brought up my body image stuff because I knew I would be presented to the world in a very sexy and revealing way. (which isn’t required to be represented as a nü Icon, it’s a unique experience for everyone, but I already knew my essence well and had an idea of what would be revealed.)

Needless to say, I had no choice but to step in to the next level of my body love in a fierce and fabulous way.

And though it wasn’t easy… which I will share more of that story in tomorrow’s email, I found a whole new appreciation for my self and my body which was a huge rite of passage for me and my work.

Tune in tomorrow for the “Full Reveal” of my nü Iconic image that came from this work. Hint- it’s bold, sexy and very edgy for me… and in the meantime, I would love to hear directly from you about what struggles you have around loving your body.

I would love to hear your shares and insights, please post them for me below.

Here is a sneak peak of what I’m going to fully reveal to you tomorrow.

sierranuicon

Read on so you don’t miss out

What an awesome and busy season this has been for Rono and me. We have so much to share with you that I don’t even know where to start!

I guess we’ll start with this fun thing…

We’re back on the road again to Los Angeles for the whole month of November and we’ll be broadcasting our travels and insights LIVE every day at 3pm EST using a super fun new app called Periscope.

To watch us AND interact with us in real time… you can download the Periscope app on your phone by following us @LifeStylized.

Or, you can just tune in from your computer daily by using this link >> http://Periscope.tv/LifeStylized.

So, we invite you to set a daily alarm and get ready to have some fun with us (in real time) while we adventure across the country.

And, in the midst of this fabulous adventure we have some really AWESOME events and freebies happening all next week that you’ll definitely want to know about!

So read on…

Monday, November 9th – Join us for our next Power Circle With Powerful Women gathering on the topic of….
Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby! 

This is a free virtual gathering (ladies only) happening at 5pm PST/ 8pm EST.

PowerCircles_withPW_November
> REGISTER NOW <

Tuesday, November 10th-  The Fun Fab Fem Virtual Playground begins!

The Fun Fab Fem Playground is an 6-week teleclass course where you will be taught tools and techniques to help you find greater happiness and enjoyment in life, love & career.

You will learn how to cultivate your feminine power to gain more confidence and clarity on what you most desire and discover how to get it without having to work harder or sacrifice the things you most enjoy in life.

playgroundbinder
> REGISTER NOW <

November 11th – The 2015 nü Icon movie opens and Sierra is featured as one of the Rainbow sisters in this years movie. Check out this amazing and free vision quest experience from the beautiful and talented Laura Hollick.

nuiconmovieimage
> JOIN NOW <

How struggle makes you blind to opportunities

I had super stressful week earlier this month!

I had packed my schedule so tight with travel and back to back events that my pleasure practices & fun quotient had taken a back seat for a moment. (Yes, even I sometimes find myself out of practice with what I teach).

However, because I know all too well the consequences that come when I get caught in my old patterns of over doing, I was very aware of the the road I was headed down and ended up with a humorous lesson that helped me step out of my struggle and back into my pleasure rather quickly.

In this week’s video I share my personal story of struggle and the tough lesson that came with it because struggle is something that most of us know all too well in our daily lives.

Being over-committed and under nourished is the new norm for busy women like us. We give and give and give until we can’t give any more and then we wonder why we’re eating ice cream for dinner or binge watching Netflix instead of going to that yoga class you love.

Struggle and frustration have become just another part of our daily lives and with that comes a huge impact to our ability to thrive. And not just in the ways you think.

In today’s video you will learn just how much struggle costs you (and how it cost me). And, you will begin to understand more clearly how if you are willing to actually make pleasure and fun a priority, how much more ease-filled (and opportunity rich) your life will become.

Be sure to watch this video and then share specifically below what you’re willing to do, to turn your struggle around.

How to Create a Sisterhood

Rono and I just returned from 3 days in Las Vegas where we hosted another fabulous retreat for my Fun Fab Fem Mastery ladies.   Mastery_sept_immersion

Spending three full days in a luxurious private home setting with these amazing women, we were able to dive deep into the juicy waters of what each of us needed to be in our fullest expression as women in the world.

Watching the depth of sisterhood unfold between these women was pure magic and potent fuel for how these women will navigate the ups and downs of life over these next few months.

If you’ve been watching my latest series of videos over that past few weeks, you’re pretty clear by now of how much of a stand I am for sisterhood.

In fact, in today’s video I share what it takes (and what I personally had to do) to create the kind of sisterhood that gives my vision, mission and purpose the momentum that every woman needs to succeed.

After watching this video, we’d love to hear from you about how you’ve created a sisterhood, or answer any questions you have on how you can get one rockin’ in your life.

And, if you’re a woman who is still yearning to be seen, met, held, loved and supported in a community of women, we invite you to join the Fun, Fab Fem Virtual Playground starting this month!

We have a powerful community of women awaiting you!

Girlfriends or Sisterhood?

At our team meetings we often have conversations about sisterhood and recently we had a very lively debate about sisterhood vs. girlfriends. It was eye opening to see how the two are viewed differently and that many don’t know the value in having both.

In this week’s video, I share with you the difference between girlfriends and sisterhood… why both are important, and what unique role they both can play in your life.

When women struggle (with anything), sisterhood is the rocket fuel that propels us forward.

After you have a chance to watch this video, then be sure to leave a comment below about what sisterhood means to you.

© Copyright 2013   ·  Lifestylized   ·   All Rights Reserved   ·   Powered by Lifestylized   ·   Privacy & Terms