There she blows, again!
Rono and I are on our annual driving adventure back from Los Angeles, to spend our summer in upstate NY and this time, I felt called to take the northern route east and visit Yellowstone National Park along our path.
I’ve been called there for several reasons, but the big one is to connect with more majestic nature and to continue to work with the medicine of yellow that started with my nü icon movie debut last summer. (link to the nu icon articles on the LS blog)
What I received from our trek through this stunning national park was amazing and I could share so much, but what really got me was our visit to Old Faithful, the most well known geyser in the park.
One of the things I thought of when seeing this geyser is that Mama Gaia, much like any woman… needs to blow off steam when stuff boils and builds up for too long under her surface. And this amazing geyser is where hundreds of thousands of tourists get to witness this stunning release.
In fact, it is done with such faithful regularity (every 90 minutes or so) that it has become a precious, much celebrated, natural wonder (even though if you get to close you will be burned alive).
It had me wondering where we might lend the same wonder and awe to the raw emotion that we women hold on a daily basis and instead how much we’ve been taught to suppress this powerful force within.
And the irony is, that suppression is exactly what causes us to blow things out of proportion and often times leave a burn on those who are in the path of this wrath. And then we’re certainly not touted as beautiful and majestic, but rather labeled as crazy, insane and bitchy.
That’s why I am a HUGE proponent of women embracing their emotions and allowing them to flow in a healthy way so that our burst of hot steam comes as a choice and as a celebrated offering to the world.
Wondering how that happens?
Here are my top 3 tried and true ways to work with your boiling point in ways that serve you and the ones you love (without leaving any burn scars).
1. Notice your warning signs
We all know when we’re feeling “off” and when the blood begins to boil. Whether you are in an argument with your partner or triggered by a co-worker, there are always warning signs that you are about to blow. Before you hit that boiling point, get really good at noticing the warning signs.
They may range from heat rising up your neck and head, to an overwhelming sense of anxiety in your body or a tightness in your chest. As soon as you become aware of this it’s time for a pattern interrupt.
One of my favorite ways to move that energy before it takes hold is to get up and shake my body. Just like a dog does. Give yourself a full shake and shiver. You may look and feel a little silly at first, but the alternative is someone being IN the doghouse.
Breath is great tool as well, however something even more physical may be needed to truly disrupt the energy. Often times simply moving your body into any new position like standing up and stretching, to sitting down and letting out a sigh, can shift things significantly.
2. Get grateful, not hateful.
(This one is a bit of a ninja move but I know you can handle it.)
When I feel triggered by something and the heat of anger or frustration begins to rise, I have a inner mantra that I turn to that brings me back to my ability to see that everyone is really an expression of God and that this moment is here to help me grow.
When I am feeling reactive, I begin to recite a “Thank You” mantra, (usually through clenched teeth) over and over again in my head until I can feel myself soften.
What am I thankful for? Well, I believe that when my button is being pushed, that it’s not about the person pushing it, but rather about me having the button to begin with.
So as I feel into what is being pushed, I seek gratitude for this person or situation in helping me to become aware of that fact that I have this button thus giving me a chance to explore what’s really creating this reaction. More often than not, it helps me see patterns that I am ready to let go of that have nothing to do with the actual situation. A true gift.
3. Piss it out!
When the ability to pull off a Ninja move isn’t available to you and the eruption is simply inevitable, here is what you need to do…
Excuse yourself immediately and get your sweet little pissed off ass to the nearest closed off space. This can be a closet, bathroom, garage, or even your car.
As soon as you get there, let out as many screams, grunts and groans as you need to and allow the lava to flow out. Thrash around, stomp your feet, pond your fists and move that energy OUT. Have yourself a good old fashioned temper tantrum and give yourself FULL permission to let er’ rip!
Your anger is probably runs a lot deeper than that individual moment and if you allow it to flow you will actually discover what’s underneath.
If you find yourself crying, that’s ok too. Often times anger is just masked sadness or a cover-up for deep grief. Giving yourself the space to express it without having it spill all over your life and the people in it, will help you find more zen next time you’re being triggered.
What often causes the unhealthy outbursts is the pressure to keep it all inside. When we befriend our anger and allow it to flow, it can have a truly cathartic effect on our lives.
Women are emotional creatures and suppressing our emotions because we have no systems to releasing them leads to a lot of not so fun things like depression, anxiety, diseases, body pain and more.
The other key piece to all of this is having a strong community of sisterhood to support you.
Your story, your rage, your emotions are not unique.
I repeat… what you feel on a daily basis is not unique.
If you are a woman, then you are not alone in your emotional ups and downs and no matter what the story you tell, we have ALL gone through something similar.
Connecting with a regular group of sisters who can support you, hold you and listen to you is imperative to your well being on this planet.
If you currently do not have a sisterhood and desire to be part of one, I invite you to start by joining our online community of Fun Fab Fem Girlfriends, a group of women coming together to celebrate all faces of being a woman.
See you there!