My whole life I have valued independence. So much that I used it as a tool to get love.
I used to think that if I could “make it on my own” I would be perceived as strong.
I felt that if I didn’t “need anything,” then I would never be seen as weak and that would keep me safe.
I saw independence as freedom, two values that conjointly get celebrated every 4th of July.
As I got older, I started to see there was a flip side to this value. Being as independent as I was caused me to never really figure out how to ask for what I need.
My “lone ranger” belief that I have to do everything myself in order to prove my worth began to take a toll on my life.
Relationships suffered, my business began to suffer, my health suffered and my overall happiness suffered. There was a whole lot of suffering going on!
In seeking help for this pain, every coach, therapist and friend seemed to ask me the same question… “what is it that you need??” I would look at them in stunned silence and think to myself… “I don’t know!”
It was a wake up call.
After all these years could I really NOT KNOW what I needed? Wow. It was time to reassess my modus operandi.
I began to see that if I truly wanted to succeed and get to the next level of life, it was time to not only figure out what I need but to learn to ASK for it.
The whole concept scared the crap out of me! But there was no other choice. I couldn’t deny that there were many things that I needed and the only way I was going to get them was to ask!
So I mustered up the courage and began the adventure of asking.
Still on the ride, I can honestly say that it has been one of the biggest challenges I have had to face in my adult life. Sounds crazy but it’s true. But, as I began to face my fears and ask for what I needed, I actually began to feel more freedom than ever before.
Here are a few things I have learned:
- Most people are generous and giving.
- Every NO is one step closer to a YES.
- Don’t give up, just keep asking!
- Asking isn’t as scary as I thought.
- Asking allows others to be of service.
- Life is much more pleasurable for all when my needs are met.
So, I invite you on this Independence Day weekend to find your freedom by asking for something normally out of your comfort zone. Push your boundaries. Firm up that flabby ask.
Then… celebrate your liberation.
Happy Independence Day!
Leave a comment below and let us know what you are desiring….