After living in the same house and city for more then eight years, last May I made a pivotal decision that that seemed to shoot me and my life out of a cannon. That decision was to completely let go of a dream business that I had built and nurtured from the ground up for almost a decade. A business that I had been struggling in and with for more than two years… and a business that I had completely meshed my identity, ego and worth in and on.
What was needed on my part was the act of full surrender into the hands of God with Faith and Trust. It was time for me to come to terms with the concept that life isn’t supposed to be hard. To understand that life is meant to be LOVED and LIVED, not worked!
When I surrendered to this my life drastically changed. Drastically. Who I am and who I was changed. My roots were pulled up from the soiled ground of LA, and my tribal roots were calling me back to my homeland of upstate NY to ground back into myself in a new yet familiar way. I found myself suddenly married (long story on that later)… and living back in NY for the first time in more than 13 years. Something I SWORE I would never do.
Upon landing back in NY, I became aware of myself from a whole new place. I always thought of myself as a woman who is a “root downer” yet somehow, I found that in coming back to my roots, I could not root in.
Since landing here I have moved my physical residence more than three times in less than 10 months. I am now also in the process of moving my father (first time he has ever moved outside of NY), and I have found myself moving INTO a new physical office space to live out my commitment to the “brick and mortar” expression of my new business.
Somehow I feel peace in all of this. Not because it is comfortable, it is not. I feel peace because I am finding a new home to root into. That home is in ME.